More than chocolate.

For the last ten years I thought I didn’t like chocolate…chocolate cake, chocolate candy…I think I’ve had one brownie this entire year. I’m not sure where it started but eventually overtime if offered I would regularly turn down a chance to indulge on a treat simply because it was chocolate. Vanilla ice cream, salted caramels, even fruit stood above a piece of brown covered sugar. I was content with my decision. Chocolate was never going to be one of the items I bring on a deserted island. 

However, in attempt to celebrate my husband’s return from a work trip (and that I setup our inflatable hot tub all by myself), I decided chocolate covered strawberries and champagne in our brand new hot tub was much needed. I could have probably gotten away with just strawberries for the aesthetics but I’m an overachiever when it comes to food. I wouldn’t even go as far to say I splurged on chocolate – I just stayed away from Hershey’s. I picked up Lindt’s Classic Recipe 55% Cocoa – Milk Chocolate with intense cocoa notes at a high price of $2.99. GAME CHANGER. The chocolate strawberries were amazingly delicious. I’ve been nibbling on the rest of that bar for weeks – one little piece at a time to savor it as long as possible. My favorite way to enjoy my daily piece is with a half glass – sometimes full glass – of red wine in the evening. There was even a chocolate bar in my cart when I placed my Target drive up order yesterday. Who even am I?

For the last several years, I’ve tried to take ownership of my yes’s and no’s – feeling empowered to turn down the things I don’t like. I felt too stuck always agreeing to whatever anyone wanted to do and never saying no. I may have swinged a little to hard on the no’s during my journey of empowerment. I’ve missed out plenty on the things I could like or the things high school Dominique didn’t like (i.e. chocolate). In the same way I don’t like when people hold me to a past self I find that I’m doing the same thing. I don’t like this or I can’t do that.

So really this isn’t about chocolate but it is about the unexpected joy learning new and relearning old things about myself. That’s the whole reason I started writing this year because I thought I couldn’t but I can. I want to keep exploring and finding joy when I’m not sure what’s on the other side. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in this series “Unexpected Joy”